My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
