omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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