Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
