so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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