i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
