Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
