Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
