I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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