Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
