Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
