Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
