I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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