And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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