Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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