You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
