careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
