respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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