Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
