I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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