how hairy? two words: wookie tits
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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