My cat gives me a boner
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
