Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
