we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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