8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
