Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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