thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
