Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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