I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i think i just lost a toe
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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