Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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