Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
