so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
my liver is dry heaving
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
