I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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