when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
