why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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