all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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