I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
