When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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