Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
