Nicole vs. Life
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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