I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
my poor anus
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
