"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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