she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
