Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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