It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
