Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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