i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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