Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
