i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
My liver just broke up with me...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
