i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
