Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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