Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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