turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
