but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
