Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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