i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
